Today.. Starts off a busy few days. Managing not only a party-ish thing tonight, but also teaching and leading a class on a lesson about... you will never guess; Resumes and Cover Letters! The irony of life. I've never even had an official job to apply and send those letters to. But I did do my study and homework well, I feel like an expert now, I had to get to that feeling, the weight of ECD pushed me towards so much responsibility, I had to find ways to get to feelings of peace and expert-ness. Lol to all of that.
After the great night tonight, which is about to start in a few hours, I'm planning to have a chocolate mask for my face to rejuvenate for the days ahead.
Tomorrow to the dentist I go, if you really want to know, it will be an orthodontist. I don't want to talk about it. My teeth need to be perfect. Thats all.
After the dentist I plan to stuff my face with lattes and chocolates and cake, and than off to a shopping trip I go with my dad. Because the next day we're hosting a big old party for our church in honor of Jesus Christ being alive.
In the midst of that I'm packing myself and Shula. Saturday church, than straight from there I run with Shula, and Igor with our suitcases in hand to the train station and away away away we ride off to Chernovagrad from which I don't know what to expect. My sister's birthday (cousin). I've stored up some riskness in my stuff for late nights of fun dares after I put Shula to sleep. Sunday theres this all day picnic in the forest with their church, I love that kind of stuff. I'll try to get lost in the forest, my ultimate goal for the trip. Because I won't be gone long. By Wednesday Im back again and ECD will wrack my brain once more.
Heres to the week! and you, have a good one.

I bought bright red tights for Spring. Bright things that you've never worn before..almost kind of symbolizes new beginnings. Which is true in my case because in about 5 days? On Wednesday is the first lesson of the 2nd course of ecd.
And to be honest, I'm frazzled by that. I don't have much planned, didn't do my 'brainstorming/ studying' about how these lessons should proceed.
What I wanted to do was just go along with whatever happens, making sure that everyone spoke loads of english by asking them lots of questions and breaking them into groups for talking.
Today is my last day of 'vacation'.. Going out for an irish coffee. Wish me love.
After 5 weeks I will let you know how it went!

It's been four days... but I know April can't even begin without me saying hello to it (due to the STILL chilly weather here); so Hello April! treat us well these next 27 days!

I used to criticize Spring. I never liked it. It was all so banal and sweaty. But now, after a cold Winter, I'm just yearning for any signs of spring. A sunny morning? I'm up early. Birds singing? I start singing every song I know. A patch of grass? Haven't seen that here in the city. It's all cement and sand. So in my case it would be "An unfrozen patch of sand?" and that would lead me to buy ice-cream and overlook my hurting throat. Soar throat? Yeah that's another sign of spring for me, it means that I overestimated the morning sunshine and thought that the weather was too good for a scarf. Which it wasn't of course, because here in Kiev it is still too cold. Im not complaining of course. I make decisions to enjoy whatever I can't change. That's concerning the weather mostly. Did I tell you that I don't like the word change anymore? It irritates me, all this 'change' crappage that people go through is just an illusion-ized lie phase in a sad person's life.
True story.

I love anyone who still manages to come here and read my blog, actually that's a bit creepy, since I don't post much, and I don't post nothing educational for your life. But creepy and sweet have always kind of had something to do with each other. Amusing I know.
I've been in Ukraine for almost 3 months now. Interesting events were attended, many new connections made and everything lead to another 'thing' and so on. I started this english club. It has been going on for 4 weeks, and today was the pre-last class of this 1st course. Sometimes I look at this project and think "How random" I mean, I used to dream of being a teacher and leading a class. After a while I gave that idea up, and as soon as I did, boom. English class. But honestly being a teacher isn't fun. So in the end I'm just so proud of myself for doing such a good job (student's words not mine) despite it being different from what I had prepared myself for. It must be God answering my parent's prayers,  I don't think I could ever be successful without their blessing and prayers.
It had been so amazing to meet so many people. At first I wrote "it has been amazing to meet so many different people" but being a bit annoying and honest, I would say that they are all the same and I constantly confuse their names.
 I'm just starting to love writing again. Maybe some day I will write a novel or a song. Maybe that day will be tomorrow because that's all I've been thinking about since Monday. Ambitious I know.
I would like to call it a-girl-who-never-believed-in-dreams-a girl-who-hated-the word-dream-has-decided-to-test-a-far-fetched-dream-of-hers.
And I know I won't get far in a lyric writing business with such big ill-thought-out names. But hey, Im learning. Trail and error.
Tonight was a trail and error type of learning thing I had with some people before returning home defeated, maybe that's why I can't fall asleep. Sometimes a feeling of confusion won't let you fall asleep quick. So you can always create a blogger and blog away with me!
That was the most cheesiest post ending that I have ever published on blogger.com and have succeeded at confusing you because this post has been effeminately disorganized. on purpose of course:)

This quick little post is way over due. The thing is I can't believe how my life turned inside out. And Im actually living in Kiev now. Full fast flying by days. Its crazy how my birthday is only in 25 days:) Send me love and presents. Hmmm I love everything! 

As requested by some people I will write little tid bits of everyday life over here. Ok, so the subways are exhilarating. This makes me a tourist, or a child. but no one cares if Im either one of those. Today I was on my way home from classes, during the 5pm hour (coming home from work hour) The subways were way overpacked. And the train was just jerking constantly and going really fast but no one cared about falling or holding on, because we were all so tightly packed against each other that I couldnt even pick up my phone when it rang. This is everyday travel here. cars are kind of out of the question with the crazy traffic here. But the city life can be fun, I tend to enjoy it surprisingly.  But the 24/7 guests pouring in and out everyday without warning get me under a temptation of exploding. Yes  ofcourse I just want to be alone after a loud busy day. But instead my pastor's daughter character gets the best of me and I make myself go out and love on people and serve them with food and fellowship. Lately Im just wishing people would be more tactful and shut up more often. And kiev/russian guys? ugh, why talk so much? I really dont like talkative guys. Also diction and pronunciation is so crucial and important for every living human on earth. I cant stress this more. Wok, work, work, whenever you speak, on your clarity, diction, etc. It has alot to do with singing too. And lately I've been singing until my voice breaks. So all that's been bothering me. 

Well truth be told, Im actually supposed to stay up with my computer while it copies 10,000 of my pictures from my computer to a hard drive to clear up space for a project that Im getting really serious about. More about that later. Im trying to do something to keep my head up from flopping into the screen. Bye lovable people!

Winter time makes me feel the warmest inside than any hot summer day. Haven't started counting down days of when I'm leaving America with my parents to Kiev etc. It will be on the 29th of Dec. But I'm not going to let the end of December rule the first part of it. If I started making a lists of everything that I want to do before I leave it would be overwhelming. I like America and americans. Somethings are fishy, some are just sweet. It's been the hardest thing ever for me to quit suspecting every living thing on earth. 

I have no idea whats to come to be honest, or what to expect.  I do have pages scribbled away with my life's plans for the next 5 years, but God has a way of making 190 turns in all of my plans. 

The last two months flew by for me in a whirl of lots of things. Should I have told you that? No. Should I keep ranting in hidden cliched phrases about my feelings toward those 2 months? No.
28 more days and I wave goodbye to Florida. Christmastime is beautiful! Especially here in America! Lav it!

Jacksonville Florida keeps people warm. Slows people down in this heat which exists spiritually too. Not everyone of course, just a vast majority of unsuspecting people. It slowed me down, and I wasn't even aware. It took some outsiders over the ocean to snap their fingers at me telling me to snap out of this american slow day to day nothing happening life. Honestly, I have not acted upon those words very urgently. I blame it on the cleaning and cooking. The cleaning and cooking blames it on me.  You can never blame something for your situation. Never. It is you who has the power of decision and no one and nothing will ever do what only you can do. In the garden of eden God gave them a choice, a decision. It is you who decides where you will end up, which path you are waking on today. And yes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. So you can't be driven by your flesh, when you're driven by your flesh you're living like a horse or dog which runs where it wants. But you are a human created in the image of God, not an animal driven by flesh. Let the spirit drive you, bending, crinkling, stretching your flesh out of comfort to get to the perfect destination.

Sipping tea as this day turns into the evening and I'm taking a break before I carry on with the never-eneding cleaning and washing. It probably sounds unbelievable to some. The fact that all I do is clean. The fact that all I am now is a washer, floor/dishes/kid/clothes washer. It is unbelievable to those who never went through this. But I stopped talking about it and complaining and trying to describe it because it does no good for anyone. I have no idea why I'm bringing this up now. Sometimes I just do things in vain.
This fall weather is perfect. Today we went for a walk on the beach dipping our feet in the cold ocean. The water was beautiful and so alluring...rippling and clean. The warm wind blew up my shirt and through my hair, for a moment there I though I would fly away.
The countdown towards parent's coming is getting smaller and smaller as I cross out number by number with a fat sharpie every evening.
Each morning I eat up the book of Luke chapter by chapter...I love reading about Jesus, I love that I dont understand a thing.
Guess what? I'm at the bottom of my cuppa tea with tons of sugar and lemon. Now i'm staring in the eye of the dirty dishes waiting for me by the sink. Good bye.

Every morning that I wake up, I have had one desire, kind of. I've been wanting to dive for the past month, if that makes sense. Dive everywhere.. into anything.. Dive into the wall, dive into the ceiling, dive into my pillow, dive into the floor, dive into the air, dive out of windows, dive into the future.  Perhaps I've been missing swimming... I don't know whats the case. Maybe heartbreak.

After tonight I realized that I don't mind little infants, its the smart energy-bursting toddlers that give me headaches. This baby boy is 5 weeks old and his name is Alexander, so light and precious. Made my night:)

I love full moons, it's like someone above forgot to turn off a little light at night. I like getting out of a nice long shower to find everyone sleeping leaving my night all up to me. Yes this is this kind of night.  Making myself some tea. If you dont like tea or coffee its because you have never tried a really good cup of it. You should ask me to make one for you. Thinkin bout how soon I'll be too far away. Too far away from my current worries and over-analazations. I think that once I said how a change of location never changes anything about your current situation. But in a way it does. It changes you when that 'away' means leaving the people who were such a big part of life behind and going somewhere where you wont see them or talk to them everyday like you used to. The only things that are left permanent to you is the necessities of life.....God, air, sleep, water, memories. I wish memories weren't eternal..but they are. They exist somewhere in your soul or spirit. That made me cringe, there are so many things I'd want to never remember.
To be honest I'm not looking forward to going to Ukraine or Belarus. A huge sigh escapes my mouth every time I think of it. Ironically what makes me sigh an even heavier sadder sigh is staying behind in America. If I got stuck somewhere in the air during the flight over the ocean I'd be pretty happy I think.