Jacksonville Florida keeps people warm. Slows people down in this heat which exists spiritually too. Not everyone of course, just a vast majority of unsuspecting people. It slowed me down, and I wasn't even aware. It took some outsiders over the ocean to snap their fingers at me telling me to snap out of this american slow day to day nothing happening life. Honestly, I have not acted upon those words very urgently. I blame it on the cleaning and cooking. The cleaning and cooking blames it on me.  You can never blame something for your situation. Never. It is you who has the power of decision and no one and nothing will ever do what only you can do. In the garden of eden God gave them a choice, a decision. It is you who decides where you will end up, which path you are waking on today. And yes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. So you can't be driven by your flesh, when you're driven by your flesh you're living like a horse or dog which runs where it wants. But you are a human created in the image of God, not an animal driven by flesh. Let the spirit drive you, bending, crinkling, stretching your flesh out of comfort to get to the perfect destination.

Sipping tea as this day turns into the evening and I'm taking a break before I carry on with the never-eneding cleaning and washing. It probably sounds unbelievable to some. The fact that all I do is clean. The fact that all I am now is a washer, floor/dishes/kid/clothes washer. It is unbelievable to those who never went through this. But I stopped talking about it and complaining and trying to describe it because it does no good for anyone. I have no idea why I'm bringing this up now. Sometimes I just do things in vain.
This fall weather is perfect. Today we went for a walk on the beach dipping our feet in the cold ocean. The water was beautiful and so alluring...rippling and clean. The warm wind blew up my shirt and through my hair, for a moment there I though I would fly away.
The countdown towards parent's coming is getting smaller and smaller as I cross out number by number with a fat sharpie every evening.
Each morning I eat up the book of Luke chapter by chapter...I love reading about Jesus, I love that I dont understand a thing.
Guess what? I'm at the bottom of my cuppa tea with tons of sugar and lemon. Now i'm staring in the eye of the dirty dishes waiting for me by the sink. Good bye.