Since the week of my birthday and up until this very second, which would be a month overall, so many things that I have done, said, put out was critiqued and burned down.
Coming from a very tough family, as in harsh discipline and critique (along with strong love) I've come to love it and not understand how people could live on any looser levels.
and yet this month was a bomb.
Everything I anticipated and hoped for turned out differently, in a bad way.
It's almost as if, nothing could get worse, and yet it finds a way to.
What do I do? I laugh out of desperation and mental issues in my brain. And take a nap in any spare minute of the day. mental nap. feeling like a crippled 80 year old. Whatever happened with the youthful strength and joy? also I've been trying to drink milk for my bones.
I was always such a pure fantastic child, never doing anything that would deserve having a baby in my hands, which is an enslavement in a way. A baby gets born, that same day you bury yourself for the next decade. Giving up yourself and life for someone else to grow up and become and live. Giving up myself in this age, when I'm supposed to be doing something far different than raising a child and becoming mental. I just love my parents far to much to even mention this to them.
I don't want to think about this. Some call me immature when I even start to explain...They don't know. Some people just don't know.
