Here comes another fork ahead in this walk we call life.
2 decisions, both something I could be happy about, both something I could be down about, whatever I'll pick will dictate my near future year or so.
So I'm thinking, and I'm dazed. And even my own sister who's putting me (and my brother) out as idiots into the world by begging and yelling at us to go everywhere with her and than telling people how tired she is of us and how immature we are and how she needs to go places without her family, even all that seems like a haze thats drifting in the air every time I wake up from sleeping.
What is with that kind of logic I do not know, whatever little drama she's trying to play out doesn't seem to bother me, even if the current surrounding people here might think me and my brother are sad, confused, weird, immature, sensitive or whatever else has gotten into their minds while being with Esther.
All this I know for a fact. My relationship with Esther is really fun. She knows everything I'm thinking and doing and living. I know all of that about her too.
 At some point or another all those 'Don't tell anyone' or 'dont tell them' or dont tell her' come out between us over little time.
She reads all my emails, skype chats, facebook messages, she looks at all my pictures, files etc.. And guess what? I read all of hers.
I'm so sick of people not understanding and judging everything from one aspect.
Anyway.
I've been thinking...I don't know what argument to choose to pursued my parents into something. Something of which I'm not sure myself.
If staying in America is my final decision, than I could say that I need a break from Shulamite and get my education straight.
Or, if going back to Europe, I would tell them that I'm too young to live alone and I need parents ( or maybe I just want a change ) (or maybe a blank new page ) (or maybe to get away from people and their unnecessary pity and misunderstanding towards me)
I just need to realize where I need to be. I need to hear what God is saying and what He's seeing. Than it will be clear.
But as of right now...moving away sounds absolutely fantastic.