I don't like my pictures and I don't like my blog. Frustrated that a painting I'm doing of 2 glasses (one clean the other not clean) is turning out so cartoonish, animated.
Not that I'm good at art anyway, so why act like I am? or why be disappointed when it looks bad?
Spent 3 days in a row almost fully indulged in videos. There was many things I was downloading from old tapes, 2006 stuff. Started missing Poland for no good reason. I was glad to get it over with by downloading the last two tapes full of 2010 stuff that I filmed since parents were gone. which gave me an idea to make a video for them to show them whats been happening and how the house looks.. how we look.. now, after almost half the year without them.
stayed up till 4am making a 4 minute video with Esther's help. It ended up having lots of shots of her mostly, and another person...I guess I won't mention his name here.... I'm so temped to put the video out, buts its just a bit too juicy, some people would freak.
Anyway. Waking up late the next morning was almost not worth it. waking up late is just horrible, makes me mad. But it does energize me to top the day off with plenty of work. But it's still not worth it. waking up early, like at 6am, 7am...it's so beautiful. and it makes the day seem like a week at the end of the day.
So I don't know what I'm doing right now, I should be going to bed and falling asleep but this torturing headache, doesnt want to go away, I drank tons of liquid...I even ate alot, just in case it was my hunger or something hindering healthiness and sleep. Sometimes I don't even know.
I'm happy, but I don't know.
Sometimes I know so much it makes me not know.
But I'm happy. And sometimes I don't know that I'm happy, and when I'm happy I don't know.
But I do know. I know too much.
that might be the problem.
