The anxiety of the week before the camp is over. The whole camp is over. It's amazing how the days just run, and keep moving on... and all those feelings do too. And than a set of something new comes up. You think it's so big, and never will be over. But it does have the tendency to end. Everything leads to an end. God doesn't. God is the only good and constant and stable being, idea, thought, feeling, to cling on to.
I like the team of Sweds whom I had such a fun time teaming up to make this camp happen. The camp was interesting. It rained most of the time... But if you know me, you know how much I adore rain. Everything happened, in such a God-planned way. I wasn't the only one who wished it could've lasted longer than 3 days.. :)
Blogging always was to me some kind of a place where I could come to write everything that people would never read.. But that changed and now I have 1,000 things locked up inside. I don't even know how to make sense of everything.. and maybe I shouldn't. Making sense of everything is a hardship I'm not willing to take up on myself anymore. 

ha ha

I totally realize that I'm supposed to be posting more often here. But when theres so much going on in life, poor blogger seems to be forgotten.
 "So much going on in life" is a ridiculous phrase. Inside of me I do a silent gag whenever someone says that about their life. Actually I've given up silent gagging, there's just been too much of it from everything people blab about with this unnecessary haughtiness.
 I have a wish somewhere deep down in my soul to meet someone like-minded. And a fear deep down that it will never happen. And a calmness about it all. About everything. Peaceful soul, mind... everything is going as it should. Even the hell-on-earth type of moments this week. Fiascos. Maybe you get this peaceful when you're left washed out and weary from all your previous reactions and emotions. And now you're just.. I don't know.. Thinking about heaven and bitter-sweetly wishing to master the violin each time I listen to morning star.

If I were the people around me; I'd never ever take to criticize, or say how bad something is done. organized, made until I have been through it and did the same thing too.
It's so easy to be all "OMG that prayer thing they did was so empty/ fruitless/ unprofessional/ insert all of those things you know you say."
That's the easiest thing to be, just a say-er.
Take up the huge responsibility of organizing or leading an event, after it your mouth will stay sealed with the sweet seal of humbleness. And this I speak from my own experience.

Right now I'm standing in the midst of the inconsistency of this world. Some say it's exciting.
Cleaning out all the 13 top shelves of our kitchen, big billowy white trash bag in one hand, hundreds of things that've been stored up in those shelves in the other hand. My life is on the go, and I don't know, when something will change and all of a sudden I'm packing suitcases.
Maybe my mom just likes to frighten me with those kinds of thoughts "Don't get too comfortable here" etc.  so that I'd be somewhat prepared...
Lately it seems to me like nothing is constant.
Consistent is defined by the state of Florida or in other words unchanging over a long period of time.
Kind of gah and bleh and ugh all at the same time just to be reminded of the feelings I had there from all the consistency.
But from a better aspect, Consistent means faithful. And I don't know what could be better than faithfulness.. in a people.
Basically I'm off track, and my mind is as always lost in thoughts. It's just become somewhat of a norm for my mind to not quite be able to figure things out.
But damn, in the world of inconsistencies, let us be consistent. shall we?

After a long day, finally home, watching The Voice, and trying to figure out if I like this new shirt! 

Ukraine has really, really bad water.
We put up a filter in the kitchen for the cooking, but the bathroom doesn't get a filter.
My skin is really, really sensitive, thus I've been having big time problems because of this evil water, especially the sensitive areas like my neck and face.
 Irritated skin like never before and different pricy lotions and potions don't do their over-estimated magic. The amount of foundation and concealers I use is hazardous, seriously.
I've just been so down about it. A lot of people living here are used to it I guess, their skin has harshened and adjusted, their teeth yellowed, their hair thinned, the subject of water is officially irrelevant to them.
I have this incurable love for long baths, soakings, different salts and bubbles and creams. It seems like I can't just give that up, even if the after-bath state of skin is something that makes me not want to wake up in the mornings.
I feel like I'm in Africa? All of a sudden I'm interested in the development of water in Ukraine, where can they possibly dig up such a hazard well of water for living human beings?!
Blogs are for venting and ranting. and I'm done.

Shula's famous bunny pose:) It's so cute!

She loves me so much:)

God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God's Word. We can't get away from it—no matter what. 

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

                                                                                                                        Hebrews 4:12-16 

Smart gentlemen. these two; sure know how to attract a lady's attention!!!
 I couldn't stop starting (mostly trying to figure out what they were reading), so I took a picture.
Yep a paparazzi picture; how humiliating you might say.
The truth is, I was that intrigued in witnessing a good looking guy reading a book! About 89% of the guys I know, claim that they don't enjoy reading and hardly ever read, unless they have to. Well that is just plain wrong. Kind of proves why I avoid all 89% of them.
There's just something there about a young man and a good book together that is so irresistible. That's why I like big cities, whilst walking along the Hrishatik main Kyiv square theres lots of interesting things that will catch your eye....Like a girl almost breaking her foot on mega-huge-shaky-sky-scraper heels, or awesome street musicians, or a perfect cup of latte on the street corner:)

I know I posted this a while back on my twitter (BTW follow me if you haven't already! I always follow back:) But I just want to say again how much I like this new Shawn McDonald song. There is something banal about it, but I can easily overlook it for the lyrics, which are so realistic. He's singing my thoughts. One of my best played songs on the guitar is his Gravity song.
But when you learn a song you start noticing the lyrics more than ever before. Because to sing it good, you have to feel it too. Therefor I came to the conclusion that his songs are a tad bit too depressing for everyday listening, playing, singing.
Still sometimes it's good to cry and at those moments these songs are a nice crutch to lean on.
Actually at those times, Jesus is the stretcher which you need to be carried on..

Really mad that I cant change my 'about me' on Face of Kyiv! I wanted to add this huge amazing text about Jesus and my faith.
 If I shall be in this competition, which is all in vain and totally pointless anyway, than I might as well shine, like it says in Philippians 2:15-17
Children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain. 
I wish I could've shone any light so that this whole thing I got myself into (out of vain jealousy) would be with at least some point and not a waste of time. Although thank you so much for voting anyway! I feel loved!